It’s been three years since my debut novel, Does Love Always Win? published! In one way it feels like it was just yesterday, and on the other hand, it seems like a million years ago. Since Does Love Always Win? (DLAW) came out, there have been some really amazing things I never expected to happen.
First off, the readers! I now have some really devoted fans that will read whatever I write, and I love that so much. There have been people coming up to me at events recently saying they already own my books and that makes me so happy. My work is getting out there, slowly but surely. There also have been people that have told me that my books made them cry in the best possible way, especially the coming out scene in DLAW. I’m so happy that my novels are finding their way into the hearts of people who need them. I never had queer books growing up, and I always say I write the books I wished I could have read in high school.
Secondly, I never expected to make so many good friends with other authors! There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t message one of my writer friends. They understand the ups and downs of the business and have been by my side during my publications and are now motivating me while I’m trying to get picked up again. I’m even going to visit my friend Mariah Stillbrook, who is with my same publisher, in July. It will be the first time we meet in person and I’m pretty sure I’m going to burst into tears when I see her.
Thirdly, I have had to learn a lot of new skills in order to market and sell my books. When I first dreamt of becoming a published author, I never thought about everything that is involved. Who knew I’d have a presence on TikTok and YouTube, among other social media platforms, but here we are. I also sell my books at various in-person events, about 6-7 per year, and that is a great way to meet new readers. I’ve had to be a lot more extroverted since DLAW came out, whether talking to readers at events, being on podcasts, presenting on panels, and even teaching creative writing classes.
Fourthly, DLAW won an award and was featured in Parents magazine. How awesome is that? I never thought, as an author with a small press, either of these things could happen but they did!
Of course for all the cool things that have happened there are some not so fun ones, like getting burnt out. I planned a very large book tour for myself but I had no idea that not too many people, besides friends and family, come out to book events for small debut authors. I also quickly learned that sapphic books, especially YA ones, don’t sell as well in person. Online I was doing great, but in person it was really hard to find my audience. I had a breaking point in October 2023 when I drove over an hour to a book signing where I sold only two books. This wasn’t a one-time occurrence either. This had happened at many of my other events. It was great I sold anything, but the energy I was expending was not matching the payoffs. This was also in the midst of having a full-time job and parenting/breastfeeding a child under the age of one. I was so tired and ready for something to change.
I begun to focus more on online sales and waited to do more in-person events until I had two books to offer, and that helped a lot. I had more of a chance someone might like one of the books. I’m looking forward to hopefully soon having a couple more to add to my roster.
Another not great thing that has happened is dealing with trolls and homophobia. I came out as queer right when my book deal was announced and I had to quickly learn how to deal with some not-so-nice comments. It sucks that it happens, but you can’t please everyone. I have realized that it is what is, and I have so many amazing people in my corner that do support me and my books.
Writing is still my favorite thing to do in the world, but now, with two books published and more hopefully on the way, it’s no longer this magical, mysterious process. Publishing and selling your books is really hard but I would still choose it over and over again because it’s my passion. I can’t not write.
Diane Billas 