Recently, I have seen this question keep popping up on Twitter:
“Why do you you write?”
At first glance that is easy for me to answer, I don’t know how to not write. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been writing.
But why do I do it?
Writing has always been a part of who I am. It is my way to express myself. I’m not the best with spoken word. I can’t always tell people who I am, what I want, or how I’m feeling. That isn’t something that comes natural to me. It’s scary being so open about oneself, so writing is the way I feel that I can best express my thoughts, feelings, and ideas. I’m an only child, so when I was little, I wrote in a journal every single day, because I really didn’t have anyone to talk to when I was at home. It was the way that I opened up to myself and probably since that was all I’ve ever known, writing became a habit.
Another reason I write is because it is cathartic. It’s a way to deal with and come to terms with events that have happened to me. Most of what I write will never see the light of day, and I’m okay with that. If it helps me sort out my feelings then it has served its purpose.
To be honest, sometimes being a writer can be a curse. Don’t get me wrong, I never want to give up writing, but sometimes it can be difficult to get my brain to stop thinking. Many nights, I’m not able to to fall asleep because new ideas are running through my head. Instead of focusing on sleep, I try to plot out how to use these thoughts before they fall into the forgotten abyss of stories I will never write. Take the other day, I was walking to grab some breakfast when an idea popped into my head and I sprinted back to my hotel room to grab my iPad to begin writing before I lost my train of thought.
When I’m not able to write, usually because of lack of time or my brain is overloaded from a long day at work, I become anxious. I can tell when all my thoughts are becoming mushed up in my head, ready to be spilled out on a page. Once I’m finally able to unload my musings, I always feel better as if I arrived home after a long vacation.
Why do I write? Because I can’t NOT write.
Diane Billas 